In this video, a peer supporter explains a bit more about “consent” and why it’s important.

In this video, two Peer Supporters explain “consent”, which means getting permission before sex or “sexy time”!

The legal age for consent to sexual activity in Canada is 16 years old. When someone is 16 they are legally allowed to say ‘yes’ to sex with any partner (give their consent), as long as the partner is not in a position of power over them (ie. teachers, babysitters, bosses, coaches, religious leaders).

There are two “close in age” exemptions.  A youth of 12 or 13 years of age can consent to sexual activity with someone less than 2 years older than them.  A 14 or 15 year old can consent to sexual activity with someone that is less than 5 years older than them.  But again, that person can’t be in a position of authority or trust.

However, there is no “right” age to have sex.  Whether or not to have sex all depends on the person and their partner, and whether or not they feel comfortable enough to engage in sexual activity.  Ask yourself the following questions and think about whether the answers you give are ok for you: why do I want to have sex now?  Is this what I want, or am I doing it to please someone else?  Can I talk to my partner about sex?  Does my partner care what I think?  Would I feel embarrassed or ashamed if other people knew I was having sex?  Or if they knew I was having sex with this person?  Do I know how to protect myself and my partner from STIs and pregnancy?  If I have sex how will I feel about it afterwards? Each person should be allowed to make this decision on their own and in their own time.

Yes, just go to a Teen Klinic (no appointment necessary). You don’t need anyone’s consent, and you can get birth control counselling and free or low cost birth control (including FREE condoms!)

 If a girl has more than one partner or there is a rumour that she is “sleeping around” or is “easy”, some people call her a “slut”. This is NOT ok in any situation. Sometimes people spread the rumour because they are jealous, bored or seeking revenge. It’s no one else’s business who someone has slept with.

Calling someone a “slut” is dangerous, and can make it more likely that the person will be sexually assaulted or raped, because other people are less likely to respect them or ask for their consent. No one ever deserves to be assaulted, and it’s important to always ask for consent.

Guys don’t get called “slut” if they have multiple partners; they are more likely to be congratulated, called a “player”, or something like that. This is a double standard and an example of sexism, because girls and guys are treated differently for the same behaviour.

This is a common problem. Actually it’s probably fair to say that everyone in the world will go through this situation at some point in their lives. Here are some tips:

The first thing you might think about doing is having an open and honest conversation with them. Have you told this person how you feel? If you haven’t had this conversation, how can you know how s/he feels about you? If they say they’re not into you, sadly, there’s nothing you can do.  You need to accept their decision, their honesty, and perhaps talk about whether you are ready to “just be friends” or not.

When figuring that out, maybe talk about the following: How does each of you feel about this? Does it make either of you uncomfortable? It’s quite common for people to feel embarrassed and/or rejected after telling someone how they feel and that person not feeling the same. Seek out supportive people that you trust and who like you, and do things that make you feel better (like writing, music, art, running, partying, etc.). Realize there are other people, like the saying there are plenty of fish in the sea.

If you are being touched in a way that makes you uncomfortable or scared, then you have every right to ask them to stop. They should not touch you without getting your permission first. You could also talk to someone you trust about the situation (another friend, family member, teacher or a guidance counsellor). Trust your feelings about the situation, our friends should respect our boundaries.