A relationship should be based on friendship.  The two people involved should respect each other, be able to communicate without violence or putdowns, have space to do things by themselves or with friends and have fun. Relationships can be hard sometimes but ultimately they should make you feel happy and supported not scared or disrespected. Here are a few things to remember for any relationship:

1) Be yourself

2) Try and communicate your feelings as best you can (we can’t expect people to read our minds).

3) Respect yourself and your partner

4) Be honest when you are upset or angry, try not to blame the other person for what is wrong

5) Trust your partner (intense jealousy is not a part of a healthy relationship)

Remember that relationships should make your life better not worse.  If you stop doing things that you want or that are important to you or stop hanging out with your friends ask yourself why?

There is no one set of criteria that defines what it means to be in love. Love means different things to different people at different times.  Qualities of a healthy, happy, and caring relationship are things like mutual respect, honesty, comfort, fun, and attraction.  These qualities might not equal love, but they should be essential for any dating relationship.  Sometimes people feel pressure to label (put a name to) their feelings.  What matters more in a relationship is how you feel, not what you call your feelings.

Not necessarily, there are many things that determine whether or not a person is gay/lesbian/bi-sexual.  It is not necessary to label ourselves as either gay or straight.  Factors that influence our sexuality are, the feelings we have for people (attraction), the thoughts we have for people (fantasies) or, who we choose to have sex with and/or express other forms of attraction toward (behavior).  You are the only person that can answer this question for yourself. Many youth are going through the same feelings that you are.  If you want to talk to someone about questions you have about being gay or bisexual, contact the Rainbow Resource Centre at 478-1160.  They also have a youth group available that meets weekly.

Sexual orientation is based on a number of things such as attraction (who you are attracted to), fantasies and dreams (who do you think about being with), preference (who you want to date) and behavior (who you do things with sexually).  All of these things make up your sexual orientation. 

Being gay or lesbian means that you are attracted to people of the same sex, being heterosexual means you are attracted to people of the opposite sex, and bisexual means you are attracted to both sexes.  It is important to understand that it is okay to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or heterosexual.  In addition, sometimes determining your sexual orientation can be difficult and you should never feel you have to label yourself one way or another.

There is not a set age when people “come out” (tell people they are not straight). Some people come out when they are teenagers, others wait until they are out of high school and some people don’t come out until they are much older. In fact some people don’t come out at all. When you choose to come out it usually means you have thought a great deal about your sexuality and feel comfortable telling others.

If you are looking for support or more information please feel call The Rainbow Resource Centre at 1-888-399-0005. You can call this number for free and it won’t show up on your phone bill.

Scientists are not yet sure exactly what causes someone to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight, but some research shows that there are biological factors in place before birth that influence people’s sexual orientation.

Sexual orientation is about sexual attraction. It’s normal for it to change over the course of a lifetime and it can take years to understand our sexual orientation. Some people who are unsure of their sexual orientation identify as “questioning.”

While sexual orientation is not something we can choose, many people do make choices about how to label themselves. They may identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight. Other people prefer not to label themselves. Either way is fine. All sexual orientations are perfectly normal, whether we choose to label ourselves or not.

Losing your virginity often describes when a person, guy or girl, first has sex.  This is pretty ambiguous when you think about it because not only does everyone define the act of sex differently, but people also disagree as to how much of a certain activity is considered the complete act.

Basically you get to define what virginity means to you, so you get to decide whether you’ve “lost” it or not.  Sometimes people talk about “secondary virginity”, which is the idea that after experiencing sex a person chooses not to have sex again, until sometime in the future when they re-evaluate that choice.